Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Random Georgia Baptist Convention stuff

The Georgia Baptist Convention annual meeting was yesterday and it was good. I'd say that I enjoyed it as much as I have a state convention meeting in a long while.

There's always some notable things at these things. Here are a few random observations of mine.

"We aren't going to try and be the first people there but will try to be the last ones there."
GBC staff guy in charge of disaster relief speaking of Philippine typhoon relief efforts. The idea is to let the major players, governments (the US has sent an aircraft carrier there) do the initial relief efforts. We have assessment teams going now and when all the headline grabbers are gone because there are no more grand fundraising ploys to be had, Southern Baptists and Georgia Baptists will still be around doing the work of helping those displaced. A great strategy.

The median number of teens that Georgia Baptist churches baptized was zero.
Another of our officials giving a report and a challenge. But hold on a sec bro. The median is the midpoint above and below which there are equal numbers of churches. Plodder is searching assiduously for all those churches that baptized teens in the negative numbers. Somebody oughta do something about that. It's not baptistic at all.

When a scarlet woman meets a wounded warrior.
Cover promo for some of the pulp Christian fiction for sale at the LifeWay tables. Christian romance novels are rather silly but I'd give this one credit for a catchy line.

Courting Miss Amsel
More pulp Christian fiction, this a "Little House on the Prarie" type of period piece. OK, so it ain't Driving Miss Daisy. I'll give it two eyerolls.

Mossy Oak Holy Bible
For the macho hunter type who can carry a Bible in the woods while they shiver in a tree stand waiting for a furry Bambi to saunter by and be blown to bloody bits of hide, bone, and sinew. I always thought that you could hunt or read the Bible in the woods but not both. Or, maybe the crotchety old mossy back deacon that gives you so much trouble would like this Bible.

Mammoth, alliterative sermon
I loved the preacher, the delivery, the content, and the illustrations but the sermon was a mammoth marvel of alliteration - main points, secondary points, tertiary points. It was a magnificent structure, sort of a homiletic GQ work of art. Plodder still doesn't get alliteration. If Adrian didn't do it would it be dispensed with today?

The music has never been better for a convention. The GBC men's and women's choirs (Sons of Jubal and Jubalheirs) sang jointly. No silly trendiness here. It was outstanding.

Cowboy Church in Jerusalem
Name of one of the new GBC churches started this year. Jesus on a horse with a ten gallon hat, not a donkey?

Open Range Cowboy Church
Another new GBC church. Plodder is unaware of antelope playing on any range near this church.

GBC by the Numbers:
61    Total number of new churches and missions.
34    Number of these new churches that are ethnic or language churches.
27    Number of new anglo, non-Hispanic new churches
19    Number of these new anglo churches that do not have "Baptist" in their name. That would be almost three fourths of them. Get used to it brethren.

Top ten spiffy new, generic church names (not counting cowboy churches):
1. The Verge.  "Get the urge for The Verge!" Plodder is happy to help with promo here.
2. Essence Church. Free perfume and cologne?
3. The River. Also the name of a radio station in Atlanta.
4. RealLife Church.  Perhaps a sharing arrangement with Realtree could be arranged. "Introducing the RealLife Realtree Bible!"
5-9. LifePoint Church, FaithPoint Community Church, Crosspoint Church of NE GA, Grace Point Community Church, Point of Grace Church. What's with all the "points"? Kudos to all for not adding the rather superfluous "e" at the end to make a "pointe".
10. Lifesong Church. Points given for eschewing the mid-word capitalization.

There were some substantive matters. More later.

Good job, GBC.


Anonymous said...

"We aren't going to try and be the first people there but will try to be the last ones there."

A bit cheesy, but I hope the intention is fulfilled. Kudos.

“19 Number of these new anglo churches that do not have "Baptist" in their name. That would be almost three fourths of them . . . .”

When a big impediment to growing a Baptist church is ready recognition of being a Baptist church one wonders which particular Baptists blame which particular Baptists?

Anonymous said...

Maybe we blame the Particular Baptists in general?

Anonymous said...

What can we attribute the new wave of our Baptist churches leaving off "Baptist"? I presume. they are baptist in doctrine?

Anonymous said...

"Maybe we blame the Particular Baptists in general?"