Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Navigating the Mother's Day Minefield...at Church

I pastored average sized, single staff (with one exception) churches for all these years and Mother's Day was an event Sunday in each of my pastorates.

Frankly, there was a time when I dreaded it in spite of the fact that it was a big attendance Sunday with families together, folks from out of town coming back to attend church with dear old Mom, and folks from in town making it a "shock yo' momma' Sunday by actually showing up at church.

It's a deadly minefield, brethren.

If your church does the oldest, youngest, largest litter of kids, youngest crumb-grabber routine with the recognitions, good luck with that. There are so many ways you can get in trouble on this. After a few years, I exercised some raw and awesome pastoral authority and banished that stuff by Holy Man-of-God fiat. We call that leadership these days. And I lived to tell about it.

Try something different. Recognize everyone but don't make them all stand up and look embarrassed and not know when to sit back down because you are unclear about what they are to do and how long to do it other than be the object of dozens of eyeball pairs.

My brilliant solution was to have kids give every woman, unmarried or married, mother or not, a flower when they walked into the sanctuary before worship and call it quits after that. Yeah, I know it's MOTHER'S day, but allow me some pastoral privilege here.

I received recently a comment on a two-year old post about Mother's Day from a lady who said she would just as soon stay in bed on that day rather than attend church and be reminded of her infertility. While I can never feel that pain, I recognize it exists and have heard about it countless times. I feel that such deserves some consideration.

Work with me here brethren and listen closely: It is acceptable NOT to preach one of those mundane 'special' Mother's Day sermons with all the tired illustrations and syrupy, emotional language.

I loved my mother. I will miss her on this the fourth Mother's Day she is gone. But, no weepy sentiment for me. There's lots of God's truth to preach and teach. I challenge you to take your Mother's Day sermon file and delete it or throw the paper copies away. OK, you're lazy if you don't.

Good luck.



Friday, May 11, 2012

Cringing at church on Mother's Day

This Sunday will be the first Mother's Day in thirty years where I have not presided over a worship service.

I'm looking forward to it.

Mother's Day at church can be a bit of a minefield. Although I read that it is one of the top attendance days of the year, there are hazards.

I don't know how widespread is the old tradition of recognizing various mothers in the service - the oldest, youngest, and one with the most kids or most kids present...stuff like that. I do know that it made for a much more relaxed Mother's Day worship service when I dropped that deal like a bad habit (come to think of it, it was a bad habit) years ago. Most of us have our anecdotes, mostly embarrassing about those recognitions.

One expects religious news outlets to offer some pre-Mother's Day stories but it was quite a surprised to read these two on the same day this week:

Remember infertility on Mother's Day

Mother's Day & the infertile

The surprise was that the first is an Associated Baptist Press story by a female associate minister in a Baptist church near me while the second is a piece by Russ Moore in Baptist Press.

The articles are almost interchangeable. Quotes from both:
What if, at the end of a service, the pastor called any person or couple who wanted prayer for children to come forward and then asked others in the congregation to gather around them and pray?

What if the church had a service to surround childless couples in blessing and prayer?

What if pastors and church leaders were to set aside a day for prayer for the infertile?

What if the church made more of an effort to integrate infertile couples into its current family ministry model?

What if the churches simply said the word “infertility” a thousand times over so it is no longer taboo?

Sometimes there is no difference between Baptist conservatives and moderates.


...and I sometimes wonder if we would all be better off to drop Mother's Day from the church calendar.