Friday, September 30, 2011

Some genius will have to find a name

I suppose that there are genii in the SBC, though in short supply and we may need some fresh, new thinking if an acceptable name is to be found (or is already found, registered, and lying dormant for just the right moment when the Illustrious Informal Name Committee will bestow it upon a convention of sleepless, hand wringing, nail biting followers who just haven't had any epiphanies of appropriate appelations and dare I suggest that the disciples of alliteration may be lurking about on this prepared for a mighty mammoth alliterative blow?)

My list of possibilities, annotated (and we're keeping 'Baptist' until the bitter end):

Fellowship; as in Cooperative Baptist Fellowship?
Convention; ain't new, ain't sexy.
Association; already have these and they are becoming somewhat dinosaurish.
Body; as in 'deacon body'? A bit of an image to overcome, I think.
Christians; well, it fits some SBCers.
Union; SBCers are mostly GOP and eschew untions.
Confab; like, around the water cooler, or pastor's conferences.
Conference; we certainly do a lot of this.
Churches; allegedly the key part of SBC life.
Federation; a bit too retro CCCP for me.
Alliance; as in Alliance of Extremely Liberal Baptists?
Resource; too LifeWayish.
Global; Well, ok, but doesn't excite me.
American; already have one of these.
North American; maybe, kind of clunky.
International; got an entity with this.
Galactic; ask Bobby Welch on this.
Universal; theological seppuku
General; a bit too martial.
Great Commission; haven't we worn this out?
Evangelical; major baggage here
Conservative; already have one of these.
Biblical; redundant, though a third "B" would be neat: "BBB"
Cooperative; as in Cooperative Baptist Fellowship? (Maybe they're the geniuses)
World; not broad enough to hold all the SBC egos
Worldwide; nah
Kingdom; so...monarchial ('Oligarchy' would be a good fit, though)

Plodder confesses to being seriously flummoxed on the name and yields to his betters.


Anonymous said...

Global Vision Baptist Convention... how's that strike ya?

Dave Miller said...


Dave Miller said...

And I've said all along that the biggest hindrance to this whole idea is that there aren't a lot of good names out there to replace SBC with.

Jon L. Estes said...

SBC = Superior Baptist Convention

That's really worse than what we have right now (if you don't like what we have) but it seems to be the mindset of many. Why not brag????

Anonymous said...

Let's just go with "Alliance of Red-Neck Believers" and be done with it. If the rest don't like it, let them join the CBF and quit hindering the rest of us.

John Pierce said...

You got a big smile out of me with this post, William. Refreshing to read something from a Baptist who isn't running for something and doesn't take himself too seriously. You are a rare breed.